I can’t help but feel as if I have reached the end of the road. That I should just give in and call it quits and not be bothered by anything or anyone ever again. I can’t take it feeling so unwanted in this place. I just want to die. I can never do anything right. I am so frustrated because I can’t understand why I would allow someone to make me feel this way or why I must feel this attachment to this person to keep this person happy.
J is obviously ignoring me, and because of her personality she is obviously doing it too. I know by now she hates my guts. I wish I could just let it go and not be bothered by it. To not let it get to me, but my nature of wanting to be constantly accepted won’t let. Its driving me insane. And because I have no other life or positive prospects, its pointless to say “oh, that’s just J. I am gonna leave her alone because I still have x,y and z.” I have no one.